


Brothers For Life

by noxlacrimae



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Misgendering, Multi, Trans Female Character, Trans Jack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-03-12 08:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13543908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noxlacrimae/pseuds/noxlacrimae
Summary: It hadn’t crossed Jack’s mind in years. The words that spread over her back were so much a part of her that she forgot they were even there. Often she saw it when she was checking herself for injury, and the ornate black lettering would draw her eyes, just as it had intended to back when she had first got it done. “Brothers For Life". Her eternal reminder of the world she found, and the world she had left.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cw/tw: misgendering (just a small mention, skip the paragraph that starts with "I know mom" if you don't want to see it!)

Jack was 19 when she ran away from home. For years she had desperately wanted to go, find something more, be something more. In her rundown hometown in east Texas, nothing happened and no one went anywhere. The most disruption to the desperately boring monotony was when the nearby army base got new recruits. For a short time, new faces would jostle the town from it’s stagnation, but before long excitement would fade, the recruits would leave, and everything would go back to the way it was. Nothing had ever changed.

 

Until one day, it did. 

 

It was a night like any other, and Jack was working as she always was, bussing tables at the only bar in town. It was recruit season and the bar was packed with many kids who were technically underage, and their very frazzled chaperones. One of those chaperones sat at the bar, drinking water and looking very bored. Jack wouldn’t usually care, wouldn’t bat an eye, but something about the man was different. Under the standard issue army fatigues which the man had rolled up, she saw the flash of ink, bright swirling colors. Something about them drew her eye and drew her to want to see them, hear about them. The man also wasn’t engaged with his fellow chaperones but sat off to the side. Jack looked at his hooded eyes, and frazzled hair, and she wondered if he was lonely. She didn't usually try to talk to the army men who came through town, because they were never really interested and would only half-heartedly engage if she spoke to them. Finally, against her better judgement, she decided to talk to him. 

 

She walked over to the bar saying, “Rough day?” the man stirred turning towards Jack. “Nah, today was fine. Just not a fan of babysitting.” Jack smiled “Kids, am I right?” the man gave her a funny look. “You don't look any older than them, dude.” Jack laughed “You're probably right. I'm 18, about their ages probably.” the man groaned, stretching to as he rose. “You’re just a kid too, then.” “I guess. I hope I’m more than just a kid. I feel like I should have bigger goals than that.” The man looked at Jack thoughtfully again. After a moment,  Jack moved behind the bar and started cleaning the counter to break the awkward silence that came up between them. The man sat still for a while longer, before he glanced over at the other chaperones, and seeing some sort of signal, nodded. Then he called “Recruits! On your feet! We're going back to the base!” As the grumbling kids stood and started moving toward the door. The man turned back to Jack. “What was your name, kid?” “I'm Jack.” she said. He nodded. “It was nice to meet you Jack. My name is Geoff. I'll see you around.” 

 

“Hey, Jack.” It was a few weeks after Jack had met Geoff, and probably the 3rd time that she had seen him at the bar. Standing up from where she has been putting away dishes, she smiled. “Hey Geoff. How's it going?” He slumped down at the bar, putting his forehead to the table in response. “That bad, huh?” She said, somewhat teasingly. “Ah it's always that bad, kid. It's just really hard to get any work done at the base, what with the kids constantly running up and down, and my every fucking photo and article needing to be proofread by about 80 people before going to the editor.” He said, not moving from his current position. Then he asked, “So Jack, what's up with you?” Jack sighed. “Oh just the usual. Wishing I lived anywhere but here, doing anything but this.” Geoff sat up at that, smirking slightly. “You really hate it here, don't you?” “Yes, I really do.” Jack said stiffly. “I know I'm “just a kid" and don't know anything about the world, but I don't think I'll ever know anything if I don't get out of here.” Geoff put up his hands in a placating motion. “Hey, Hey, I hear you. Why do you think I'm in the army? I grew up in a small town I hated just like you. As soon as I hit 18, I flipped Alabama the bird and went into basic training. I get it, I really do.”

Jack laughed and said. “Sorry man, I just expected the response that I usually get which is “What's wrong with our town? I'm sure it's no better anywhere else”, and so on and so forth.” Geoff laughed. “Yeah that sounds pretty familiar. So,” he said, settling back into his chair “What do you want to do then, Jack?” Jack sighed. “I really don't know. I just know whatever I need, whatever I'm meant to do, it's not here.” “Well I'm sure you'll figure it out kid. You're smart, I can tell. Don't let this town kill your spirit.” Geoff stood, and waved as he left just as quickly as he'd come. Jack's boss walked out of the back just as he was leaving, and said “Did that guy even buy anything?” Jack looked down at the table and noticed the cash that Geoff had left on the table. “Uh, yeah, he just had an ice tea.” she lied. “Alright,” her boss said, appeased. “But don't you be keeping the customers from buying with your chatter.” “Yes sir.” she said, slipping the tip into her pocket.

  
  


And the cycle continued. Geoff would visit the bar, usually with some officers or recruits, and Geoff and Jack would talk quietly the whole time in the corner about whatever crossed their minds. The weeks flew by like this and Jack though Geoff might be the best friend she ever had. Every time he left, she would wish he could have stayed longer. She found herself constantly thinking of something new that she wanted to ask him about, or found something cool to share with him. She rushed out the door to work everyday.  “You're always in such a hurry to get to work. You'll get there in plenty of time.” Jack's mom called as she ran up and down the stairs getting ready to leave.

“I know mom, I just don't want to be late.” “Something new seems to have caught your interest at work. Did you meet a girl?” Jack rolled her eyes as she tied her shoes. “No mom, I haven't met a girl. And we're not supposed to bother customers like that.” “Oh I know honey, you know I'm just so excited for the day my little boy really grows up and finds himself a wife.” Jack gave her a thin smile. “I, uh, I know mom. I'll, I'll see you later.” With that, Jack pushed out the door, rolling her mom's comment over and over in her mind.  _ Her little boy. Her little boy. _ It always felt weird when she said things like that, but today it felt. Wrong. Stomach churning, Jack shoved those thoughts to the back of her mind and focused on getting to work. 

 

Tonight, Geoff came to the bar, alone. Jack saw him walk through the door, and called out as he walked in, since the bar was empty other than the two of them. “Hey Geoff!” He gave her a small smile and walked up to the bar, sitting close to where Jack was bussing the last few tables. “Hey Jack.” Something in Geoff’s expression looked different than usual. His normally tired expression seemed tense. “What's up, Geoff?” She asked, standing up. “Um, well, it's just….The recruits are done with their training.” Jack was startled. Had it really been 3 months already? “Wow, the time flew by.” She said. Geoff grimaced “Yeah it really did. So, uh, since the recruits are done, we're, uh, shipping out. We're getting deployed, and we're gonna be gone for like, 18 months at least.” Jack felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her. “You're….you're going with them?” Geoff gave that small smile again. “Yeah, I mean there's not much for an army journalist to photograph or write about here. Gotta be where the action is.” Jack breathed in sharply at the thought. Geoff was going away, for a long time, into danger. “Are you, gonna come back here, when you get back?” She asked, quietly. Geoff smiled, a real one this time. “Yeah, yeah I'm gonna try.” Jack breathed out shakily “Okay, Okay good. I guess I'll see you when you get back then.” “Yeah.” 

They stood awkwardly for a moment before Jack leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “Be safe, Please. Come back safe." She whispered. Geoff responded instantly squeezing her back tightly. “I will, Jack. I'll be back. I promise.”


	2. Chapter 2

At first, Jack was afraid that she would lose all contact with him, but a few weeks later, the letters started arriving. Every few weeks, a letter covered in stamps and with scrawling, smeared handwriting on it would appear in the mailbox. Jack picked them up everyday, making sure her mother didn’t catch sight of them. She wasn’t sure why she didn’t want her mother to know about the letters, but she kept them secret anyway, hidden in a box in the back of her closet. The letters were a breath of fresh air when her life had gone from boring to stifling. As she read them, she could hear Geoff’s voice in her head, relating all the antics of his company, vague descriptions of the dangers they were facing that made her heart thump painfully, and his opinions on books that he was reading, or anything he thought of. Jack wrote back every time, telling Geoff that she was worried, sharing some of her stories of how boring the town was without him, or telling him her worries and secrets. While the letters helped, Jack still wished he was still here to tell her his stories in person, where he would be safe. The months passed slowly, the summer fading to fall, into winter. The town was as slow and sleepy as ever. Jack took to spending her nights driving, some nights for miles outside of town, just to feel the air rushing through her hair on the highway. Other nights, she would drive through the many empty parking lots, teaching herself how to do all kinds of tricks, from doughnuts to full 180 turns. There was something about throwing herself wholeheartedly into the wild stunts, the pulse pounding, last minute saves that filled her with giddy excitement when she pulled them off. She kept her adventures secret from her mother, and let her think what she would about Jack staying out so late and only coming home in the early hours of the morning. She felt the growing distance between them, but didn't feel like there was anything she could do about it. She was growing, changing. Her mother was staying the same. Jack was not who she used to be, and so she let herself change, despite the slight loneliness she felt. She always had Geoff to fall back on, she reminded herself. He would be there for her.

 

The letter that changed everything arrived mid-January, only a few days after Jack’s 19th birthday. Jack had been looking forward to the letter all week, since it had been a while since she had gotten one, due to the holidays. Everyday, she would read over the last paragraph of letter that she had gotten just before Christmas:

_Hey Jack,_

_You know, I understand what you’re saying about turning 19. I remember how it felt when I did (all those many years ago), and I was really nervous. Being your age, it’s really a pain honestly. Everything is so important and urgent, and it feels like everyone is looking at you, scrutinizing your every move, expecting you to have your whole fuckin’ life figured out when you’re just a kid. So here’s my advice: You don’t owe anyone anything. Your life is your own to live how you want, and for no one else. What makes you happy? What do you enjoy? Do that. It doesn’t have to be forever, because let’s be honest, nothing really is. Allow yourself the freedom to fuck up, to experiment, to try and to fail or to try and succeed. You’ll find your place, your people, and when you do, you’ll wonder how it took you so long to do it. You’re so young Jack. You have your whole goddamn life in front of you. That is such a gift, and I think you should look at it as one. Make the most of your life kid, because this is the only one you get. And that’s my probably bullshit opinion on it all. I hope you have or had a happy birthday Jack, because you deserve one. Try to enjoy yourself, even if you’re having a breakdown about it._

_Your friend,_

_Geoff_

The new letter appeared in the mailbox and Jack rushed to retrieve it. She quickly dropped the bills and other mail in the kitchen, before rushing off to read the new letter that sat at the top of the pile. She had a smile on her face before she even started reading, already looking forward to what Geoff would have to say. As she began to scan the letter, her smile faded, and her heart plummeted in shock.

_Jack,_

_I hope this letter gets to you in time. I can’t tell you what’s going on but suffice to say it is very secret and very dangerous. This will be the last letter you will get from me for a while. I will try to write to you as soon as I can but things are getting very serious. I hope you will not hold it against me that I cannot write, but if all goes well, which it should, I will be home sooner than I expected. Don’t be surprised if the next contact you have with me is a call instead of a letter! I promise you I will be careful, so please don’t worry. It will all work out in the end. Just in case it doesn’t, I need you to know that I care for you deeply. No matter what, I will come back to see you again, as soon as I can. I promise. If you don’t hear from me by Valentine’s Day… I think you know what happened. It won’t though, not if I have anything to say about it. I don’t plan on dying on this mission, I have too much to live for._

_See you soon Buddy._

_Geoff._

Over the next few weeks, Jack kept her hopes up, that he would contact her, a call, a letter, anything. As the weeks went on, she began to get more and more worried. Valentine’s Day came and went. In the days that followed, instead of the grief that she had expected, the tears, Jack was instead filled with a cold calm. Everything around her seemed to become crystal clear, but to fade at the same time. She felt distant, but it felt good, like she could do anything. No more expectations, no more fear. The change was noticeable to those around her, but she didn’t care. She began to work towards a new goal. She was going to leave this shitty town and go somewhere better, find something more. Living with her mother had become more and more grating. With her new resolve, Jack did what she never could gain the courage to do before. She began to work longer hours at her job, finding more work wherever she could around town, saving up. She applied to the college that she had wanted to attend since she was in high school, and was accepted to UT Austin. Late that spring, Jack set off, her car packed with only the necessities, which of course included Geoff’s letters. She had told no one of her plans, and left after her shift at the bar, leaving a note of resignation on the counter, just like the note that she had left her mother, telling her not to worry and that Jack would be fine.

 Jack drove late into the night, making it over hundred miles from her hometown. Her total freedom filled her with what felt almost like euphoria. She turned up her radio, and flew into the night, going much faster than was legal or safe.  She finally stopped for the night at a roadside hotel. As she sat, smoking at the window in her cheap motel room, she felt a twinge of guilt thinking of her mother. _It will be fine,_ She reasoned with herself. _I’m an adult, so she doesn’t control me. I can do anything now. I’m not her ‘little boy’ anymore, I’m free. I can do whatever I want._ As the excitement rose within her thinking about her wide open future, she felt a few tears roll down her cheek. As she wiped them away she thought  _this is for you Geoff. This is what you would have wanted. I’m going to live the life I wanted, just like you told me I could, and no one is going to stop me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I'm not dead! And I'm gonna finish this story!!!! Wild I know!!! I'm serious this time about actually posting regularly. I have several chapters done already, and I will try to post them over the nest few days. Do leave me a comment if you like! Next chapter, a familiar face shows up~


	3. Chapter 3

Jack had worried that her mother was going to declare her a missing person, but after she reached Austin, she checked newspapers and the news, and found no sign of a search. After this, she was cautiously optimistic that she had really escaped. Jack threw herself into life in Austin, enjoying all the people and the bloom of life that filled a city so much bigger than her tiny town. By the end of the summer she had moved into a cramped apartment with several other students just off campus, and worked at several jobs so she could supplement the scholarship that made her attendance possible. Then the semester started, and she was swept up in the whirlwind of classes, parties, and all that college had to offer. She loved it. Everything about being surrounded so much youth, so much energy, so much hope made her sure that she had made the right choice. 

For the first time in her life, Jack felt like she could be who she wanted to be. Like she could be anything and anyone she wanted to. Even with so much freedom and so much happiness, there was still something that felt wrong, it always lurked in the back of her mind, and at any quiet moment, she would think again of how something wasn’t quite right. She pondered this feeling, and this question over and over, but she couldn’t think of an answer. She noticed that the feeling often welled up when someone referred to her as a man. When she thought about this, something felt just too close to the truth, and she pushed it away. She felt like the answer was buried somewhere inside her, and that she would uncover it if she just kept looking. The realizations came in small bursts. Things like how in puberty she had looked at other girls and longed to be like them. She had written it off as attraction at the time, but now she wasn’t so sure that that was all it had been. It took one too many beers at a party, but she finally confided in her roomate, how it felt wrong to be called a ‘boy’ to be referred to as ‘him’. She later recalled slurring out “I think I was supposed to be a girl. If I had been born a girl none of this would be a problem.” This one admission, quickly forgotten by her roommate, stuck in Jack’s mind for days, turning over and over, until she was sure what she had said was true. She was a girl. When this realization finally washed over her, she was standing in her room, staring at her clothes and thinking about how they never seemed to feel quite right. As the thought of  _ I’m a girl _ hit her, it brought her to her knees, and she stared at herself in the mirror, mouthing the words over and over: “I’m a girl.” 

 

This realization shook Jack to her core, bringing everything she thought she knew about herself into question. It also made Jack grow more distant with her friends, as she tried to figure out how to proceed. She began to secretly look into help, searching online, finding forums of people who felt the same as her, trying to find guidance. She felt like she might want to transition, that her body would better suit her with some modifications. The costs of it all was what brought her up short. How could she, a student who worked day and night to afford just going to college, going to afford the costs that lay in front of her? She finally wrote it off, and told herself that maybe, maybe someday, she would look into transition more seriously. Right now it just wasn’t realistic, no matter how much she longed for it.  Her friends gave her space as she weathered her way through all of this, let her sulk and be secretive for weeks. Finally, one day, there was a knock on her door. Jack looked up, seeing her roommate standing in the doorway. “Hey Jack,” She said. “We’re going out to a party tonight. You’ve seemed pretty pretty busy lately, don’t you think you should relax a bit, just take a night off?” Jack sighed. She didn’t really want to go to the party, but she also didn’t want to lose her friends, and she knew that she had been growing distant from them. “Yeah, Jen, I’d love to. Let me get ready and then we can go in one car. I’ll be DD.” Jen beamed, seeming relieved. “Great, thanks man. We’ll be ready when you are.” Jack tried not to flinch as Jen called her man, and breathed deeply.  _ It’ll be fine, you can make it through this. You’ve been being called the wrong gender for years now, you can make it through tonight.  _

 

The house hosting the party could be heard for about a block in every direction. As Jack pulled up to the curb down the street, she mildly regretted her decision to come, catching sight of the flashing lights and massive crowds spilling out into the front yard of the house. Her friends didn’t seem to share her reservations, as they scrambled to get out of the car. “If y’all want to leave, just come and find me!” She called after them as they disappeared into the crowds. The next few hours passed in a blur of color and sound. Jack only had a few drinks, since she would be driving, but it was enough to give her a light buzz, and make the roar of the party fun rather than grating. After a stint on the dancefloor, Jack had been pulled away by a random girl. She had pressed close after pulling Jack up the stairs, whispering in her ear all the things she wanted from her. At the girl’s whispers Jack felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her. She gently pulled away apologizing, stuttering something about a girlfriend, and nearly ran out the door to the balcony. The cool air cleared her head some, and the pounding panic began to fade. She leaned out, closing her eyes for a moment and listening to the noise of the party, now so distant it sounded like she was somewhere high above a bustling city. The flick of a lighter drew her back down to earth, and she opened her eyes, turning to see a man standing at the other end of the balcony. The man’s outfit screamed ‘bad boy’ from the leather jacket to the steel-toed boots, helped by the shaggy black hair that he absentmindedly swept out of his eyes as he lit a cigarette. He was intimidating, but in Jack’s buzzed state, she had simply fixated on his cigarette, and before she had even realized what she was doing, she was walking across the balcony and asking “Hey, could I get a smoke?”. The man’s cold, blue eyes snapped to her, his eyebrow raised in what could either be surprise or disdain. Now that he was turned towards her, Jack felt a slight pang as she took in just how handsome the man was. She was frozen, still shocked at her own boldness, when the man moved. He pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and held it out to her. She took one, then lit it on the offered lighter. “Thanks.” She mumbled, all courage gone. The man quirked his lips in a slight smile. “No problem,” He said, his voice deep yet with something musical to it. Jack blushed, turning away, hoping he didn’t notice the flush that spread across her cheeks. “My name is James.” “I’m, uh, I’m Jack.” She responded almost automatically, surprised that the James seemed interested in even making her acquaintance. They stood in silence that felt like it should be awkward but was simply comfortable for a few moments. Jack built up the courage to try to continue the conversation. “So, what are you doing here?” James looked confused at the question. “ Well, it’s ah, just that this is a college party, and....You don’t really look like the college type.” James laughed. “Do I not? I’ve been in college for a while actually. Can’t seem to pick a major. What are you doing here?” He asked, and seemed to be genuinely interested in her answer. “Oh, I'm in college for Film.” Jack wasn’t even sure how long the two of them stood there, fluctuating between companionable silence and small talk about films they’d seen, their classes, and random college stories. James had taken a lot of theater classes, which gave him many wild stories to tell. Something about the deadpan way he told his stories made it all the more funny, leaving Jack giggling and James looking pleased at her laughter. Their exchange was finally ended by a man dressed similarly to James opened the door to the balcony and called out “Haywood, come on, we’re leaving.” James nodded, heading towards the door. As he walked through, he turned back to Jack and said “I’ll see you around, Jack.” Jack waved awkwardly in return, which earned a chuckle from James as he let the door fall closed behind him. As the two men walked through the house, Jack noticed that on the back of their leather jackets there was the design of a fist in the middle of a broken cross, but they disappeared into the crowd before she could read the banner that surrounded the design. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Jack's orbit, one James Ryan Haywood! I wonder how we will proceed from here...


	4. Chapter 4

After their first meeting, Jack began seeing James everywhere. She would often run into him walking across campus, and they would stop to talk between classes. She started to go out with her friends more, in the hopes of seeing James, but often wouldn’t catch more than a glimpse of him in crowds at the parties. Something about James really drew Jack. She wasn’t sure what it was, whether it was just his looks, his strangely awkward way of making conversation, or the mystery that seemed to surround him. Whatever it was Jack always looked forward to running into him, and thoroughly enjoyed when she did. 

The next time she really saw James, it was far into the hours of morning and Jack was out with a large group of friends, all in varying states of drunkenness. They were sitting in a booth at a 24-hour restaurant, messing around and trying to eat their way out of a hangover. Over the drunken din, Jack heard and felt the rumble of motorcycles pulling into the parking lot outside. The door was pushed open moments later by three leather clad men, and as they stood at the counter ordering, one of them turned slightly, and Jack realized it was James. She was seconds away from calling out a greeting when one of the more sober of her friends began to shush their group. They quieted down for a few minutes, all looking slightly confused as to why they should be. The men got their order and walked back out of the restaurant, and the girl who had originally shushed them visibly relaxed “Okay, y’all fuckers can be loud as you want again.” Jack leaned over and asked “Why did you tell us to be quiet when those guys came in?” The girl glanced at her a bit incredulously. “What, you figured it would be fine to piss off some Christpunchers with our drunken bullshit?” “Christpunchers?” Jack echoed. The girl nodded. “Yeah, they’re new around here but they're becoming like the most infamous gang in town. They’re a motorcycle gang, they like, run drugs and kill people, or whatever it is that biker gangs do.” “Are you sure? I think I’ve seen some guys dressed like that around, maybe it’s just the style.” The girl rolled her eyes. “Of course I’m sure, that giant symbol on the back of their jackets is their gang symbol. It’s kinda hard to miss. But now you know, so just be on the lookout from now on. I’d be careful around any of those guys, and avoid them if you can. They’re kind of known for being the type to kill first and ask questions later if they don’t like you.”

After finding out that James was part of such a dangerous and deadly gang, she didn’t really know what to think of him anymore. She kept her eye out for him, but he seemed to have disappeared off campus, so she didn’t have the chance to ask him any of the questions she wanted to. Jack was completely torn. She had always been a pretty good kid, and the Christpunchers sounded dangerous. But on the other hand, she really, really liked James, and she didn’t want to lose his friendship. Finally, she saw him on campus again, and when he caught sight of her his eye lit up, which made her melt a little bit. “Hey Jack.” He said, easy smile spreading over his face. “Hey James, it’s been a while.” James shrugged. “Yeah, I had some work stuff come up, but now that it’s out of the way I’m back to classes.” They stood there for a moment before Jack asked “James, do you think we could hang out sometime soon, maybe catch up a little?” “Sure thing. Give me your number and I’ll call you when I’m free.” Jack scrawled her number in the margins of his notebook, and a few days later, Jen shouted across the apartment. “Jack, phone call for you, said his name’s James!” Jack rushed a little more than necessary and quickly made it to the phone. “Hey James.” She said somewhat breathlessly. “Hey Jack! I’m free tonight, you want to hang out?” “Yeah, yeah sounds good.” “Cool, give me your address and I’ll be there posthaste.” Jack got ready at the speed of light, and rushed out the door when the bell rang, shouting “I’ll probably be out late!” She opened the door to see that James was dressed almost casually, wearing a simple jeans and t-shirt. His leather jacket was still slung over his shoulder though, and the sight of it caused Jack’s stomach to turn and tighten. She fought the nerves down, and the two of them climbed into her truck. He insisted on opening her door for her, which made her laugh in an effort to conceal her blush. They drove for sometime, just making small talk, and stopping to buy some fast food as Jack drove them to the outskirts of the city. 

They finally stopped at a rest stop to eat, looking out over the open fields that lay out in front of them. The music played softly over the speakers, and for a while the only sound was the two of them eating their meals. After a while, James asked “So, why did you drive us way out here?” Jack turned away to look out her window. “I just wanted to get out of the city I guess. I didn’t grow up in a big city so I like to get out in the country sometimes. Reminds me of my hometown.” “So if you like the country, why’d you come to Austin? It’s a pretty big city.” James asked quietly. “My hometown was too small. I wasn’t...going anywhere there. No one was, no one wanted to. I wanted… more. More than just bad memories and dead-end jobs. So I ran.” James nodded understandingly. Jack took a deep breath. She had been trying to figure out how to start this conversation.  _ So, I hear your part of an infamous gang, care to elaborate? Why didn’t you tell me you were a criminal when we first met?  _ and other such terrible ideas were all she could come up with. So she decided to be subtle. “So, why do you always wear that jacket? And what exactly is this job that you’ve been so vague about?” James stiffened slightly, then his shoulders drooped as he sighed, “So you didn’t know. That’s what I was worried about.” “You’re a Christpuncher.” Jack whispered. “Yeah I am. So what have you heard?” “That the Christpunchers are a dangerous gang who runs drugs and has a tendency for murder.” James chuckled. “I was expecting worse, but that is actually not that far off.” They sat in tense silence for a few moments. Finally Jack said “Am I going to get hurt, knowing you? Are you dangerous to be around?” James didn’t respond for a few moments, looking serious. Then he turned, locking eyes with her. “Jack, I’m not going to say that I’m not dangerous. What I do and who I know has the potential to be very dangerous. But I can tell you this. I will do my best to keep you safe. Unless you want in, I will keep you out of it. I will do whatever I can to protect you, defend you if I have to. That’s a promise. And you should know, Christpunchers don’t make promises unless they mean them.” Jack looked into James’ eyes, saw the intensity there. He was serious. Then he glanced away. “Of course, I understand if you decide that it’s too risky for you, and you want nothing to do with me anymore. If that’s the case, I will respect your wishes and leave you alone.” Something about the tremble of uncertainty in James’ voice, the undertone of insecurity that he tried to cover with facade of cool confidence, made Jack’s decision for her. She liked James, liked knowing him, talking to him. Was she really going to give all of that up, just because of what he did? Maybe she should, but she wouldn’t, she decided. “No, I don’t want you to fuck off from my life. I trust you, and I consider us friends. It would be pretty fucking stupid of me to change my mind now.” James flashed her the most genuine smile she had ever seen from him. “Good, I’m really glad, because I don’t know how I would have coped if you had said you didn’t want to know me anymore.” Jack laughed, and turned back to the console, turning up the radio slightly. “Let’s get back to town. My roommates probably think I’m dead.” The cool night air felt good as Jack’s car glided down the highway. She glanced over at James and saw him leaning out the window a bit, his eyes closed. Something about this moment felt precious, and like everything was just as it should be. No stress, no tension. Just Jack, James, her car and the road. As the streetlights flashed by, she thought,  _ I wish you were here with me Geoff. I think you would be proud. I’ve learned so much about the world and about myself. I just really really wish you were here to see it. I miss you. I miss you a lot. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update bc long weekend! Also I am out of chapters I've worked ahead on, so hopefully I can keep up the pace and finish this story fairly soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to Noel Tries To Consistently Write Something! I am going to try to update this regularly. It took me about 3 months to do just this chapter, but I'm going to try to be faster than that from now on.
> 
> Please leave me comments, suggestions, and kudos if you like it! Thanks~


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